Open Letter to Barf-nonymous

[xerox78]

To whoever keeps going to Northside Pool in Norfolk, Virginia on Saturday afternoons and throwing up in the water so that the lifeguards have to send everyone home so they can clean the pool, please quit it! This is the third Saturday in a row that you have done this. Besides ruining things for all of the other swimmers, I sure the lifeguards just love having to work late just to clean up the puke that you have no interest in keeping to yourself. Why don't you just stay home since you obviously cannot keep control of your stomach?

Signed,
Xerox (who has had this ache in her leg for almost a month since she cannot get into the water for some low-impact therapy)